


Lost: Friendship Is Magic - Part One

by deus_ex_machina



Series: Lost: Friendship Is Magic [1]
Category: Lost, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-14
Updated: 2012-02-14
Packaged: 2017-10-31 04:09:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/339728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deus_ex_machina/pseuds/deus_ex_machina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If the island was Equestria.  Crack fic ahoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost: Friendship Is Magic - Part One

"We need to start exploring the island," Jack said, looking at the faces gathered around the fire - Kate, Sawyer, Sayid, Hurley, Charlie, Claire, and Locke. "We've found the hatch. There are probably other Dharma stations here too. If we can find them, we might be able to find a way off this island."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea," Sayid replied. "These 'others' the Frenchwoman was talking about... they might be in those stations. Waiting for us."

"The Frenchwoman has been by herself for over a decade," Jack said. "You can't really trust her judgement."

"And... we have guns," Kate said.

"And knives," said Locke.

"And beer." Sawyer looked at his Dharma brand beer - stale but it was beer - and grinned.

"We can't all go traipsing around in the bloody forest," Charlie whined. "Claire's pregnant! She's about to have a baby! Someone's got to stay here with her."

"Then you can stay with Claire," Jack said. "But I need to go. I need to find answers."

With that, Jack got up. Kate followed him after a moment, as she always did.

"You're going now?" Kate hissed.

"Do you have a better time? If we leave now, we can make a good distance before nightfall. Set up camp."

Sawyer got his beer and followed Kate, and Sayid and Locke reluctantly followed. They made their way deep into the jungle. It was hot, and they stopped every so often to sip water or pick fruit. Locke kept his eyes out for a boar, his fingers close to the knife in his pocket. After a time, the whispers started - the same whispers Sayid had heard when he was returning from Rousseau's shelter. Locke readied his knife, and Sawyer held out the gun, waiting to shoot. But nobody came, and the whispers stopped.

A ray of light shone, and they followed the light, all the way to... a brightly coloured yellow cabin.

"Son of a bitch," Sawyer said. "Who the hell put this here in the middle of the goddamn jungle?"

The cabin had a Dharma sign on the door. There was a silhouette of a pony. Jack knocked, and when there was no answer, he kicked the door open.

The cabin was made up cheerfully, complete with a table with fresh cupcakes on it. Sawyer went immediately to the cupcakes and Sayid yelled, "Wait! It might be a trap."

Sawyer took a bite of cupcake, and said, "Most delicious damn trap I ever tasted, then."

"That cake is a lie," Sayid said, and surveyed the cabin. Unfortunately, he found nothing; feeling like a fool, he muttered to himself. Jack saw a video cassette with a Dharma logo on it. There was a television set in the living room. He popped the tape in the VCR, and they all sat around the living room, everyone eating cupcakes but Sayid, watching the tape.

The TV screen showed the same Dharma logo that was on the door, with the pony silhouette. ORIENTATION FOR STATION 9: THE SADDLE appeared beneath the logo.

"Greetings," said the same man who had appeared in the video for the hatch. "I'm Dr. Courtland Macintosh, and this is the orientation for Dharma Initiative station number nine. The Saddle."

The video cut to a pair of binoculars peeping out from bushes, and a hand writing notes furiously on a notepad. "This station was set up to observe the indigenous inhabitants of the island."

There were ponies. Brightly coloured ponies. Walking around and talking. Like people.

Then the man again in his labcoat, smiling. "Your task, at this station, will be to watch, record, and report the actions of the indigenous inhabitants of the island, often colloquially referred to as 'the others', or sometimes 'the hostiles'. There are several different locations marked out as observation posts. You will head out into the field in your gear." A man came out wearing camouflage.

"We believe the indigenous inhabitants of the island hold the key to the unique properties of this island, and studying them gives us a better understanding of the forces within."

The screen cut back to the ponies. Ponies on swings. Ponies eating cupcakes. Ponies flying in the sky.

Back to the labcoat. "Under no circumstances are you to interact with the indigenous inhabitants of this island in any way, or otherwise alert them to your presence and that they are under observation. Should there be... an incident... with contact, the pony is to be brought to Room 23 immediately prior to being returned to their village."

Two men in The Saddle station, putting notebooks into tubes, in between... eating cupcakes. "Reports are to be filed every Friday at 5 PM. Be sure to be as thorough in your descriptions of what the indigenous inhabitants are doing, no matter how trivial or... frivolous. Every single action gives us another clue into better understanding the unique gifts this island holds."

The labcoat smiled again, "On behalf of the Dharma Initiative, we would like to thank you for doing your part." He bowed slightly, with folded hands. "Namaste, and good luck."

And that was it for the video.

"We're going to have to watch that again," Locke said, cupcake falling out of his mouth.

"This is the most re-goddamn-diculous thing I've ever seen." Sawyer got up, disgusted. "There ain't no goddamn TALKING PONIES on this island."

"I have even more reason to believe now that this is a trap." Sayid got up and walked to the door. "We need to turn around and go back the way we came as soon as possible."

Sayid walked out in a huff, with Sawyer close behind him. Jack and Kate ran to catch up, and Locke yelled, "HEY! WAIT!" The ponies were the most incredible thing John Locke had ever seen in his life. He had always wanted to be a horse, running free, or even a winged horse, flying in the sky. He had dreams of flying when he was wheelchair-bound, and he knew the island had brought him here to fulfil that destiny.

Then all of a sudden... ticka-ticka-ticka-whoooooooo...

"Oh, crap," Sawyer said.

The sky darkened, and the ticking and cranking noise got louder. It was the smoke monster. And it was headed directly towards them.

"I knew this was a trap," Sayid said. They ran into the jungle, and the smoke monster followed. Just as the smoke monster was about to reach for Kate, there was... a rainbow. With a sonic boom.

The next thing they knew, there was a blue pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail, looking pleased with herself. "Ten seconds flat!" she said, and stuck her tongue out as the smoke monster appeared to flee, howling as it moved away through the jungle.

"What the." Jack couldn't believe his eyes.

"RAINBOW DASH!" a voice yelled. There was the sound of hooves. "OH, RAIN-" The pink horse stopped, and batted her eyes with a wide, cheerful grin. "WHY, HELLO THERE."

"Uh. Uhhhhhhh. Ummmmm." This went against everything Jack had been taught as a doctor, as a man of science. This wasn't supposed to exist. _I am hallucinating,_ Jack thought to himself. _I am sleep-deprived and have been wandering through the hot jungle all day. This is not really happening. Hell, I saw my father walking around! This can't be real._

"You're CUTE," the pink horse said, going right up to Jack, and tossed her mane. "I'm Pinkie Pie. What's your name?"

"Jack. Jack Shephard." What the hell. WHAT THE HELL.

"I'm Kate," Kate said, beaming. The little girl inside of her was full of squee. _Oh my god, it's a My Little Pony! In real life! I KNEW that they were real!_

"I'm getting the hell out of here," Sawyer said, turning around. As soon as he did, the rainbow-maned blue pegasus was right in his face. "HI," she said, grinning evilly.

"Son of a bitch!" Sawyer yelled, angry. He pushed Rainbow Dash out of his way.

"What kind of name is Son of a Bitch?" Rainbow Dash giggled.

"OH VERY FUNNY," Sawyer snarled.

Sayid didn't know what to make of the situation. These were the others Rousseau was talking about? Ponies? Really? She was living in fear of ponies for the last seventeen years?

Either that, or he had gone just as mad as she was.

"Have you always lived on the island?" Sayid asked the ponies.

"Sure did," Pinkie Pie replied. "It's wonderful here!"

"Maybe you can answer some of our questions," Sayid said. "Our plane crashed a few weeks ago, and we've been trying to go home."

"Why would you want to leave? This is the best place in the world!"

"I'm sure it's very nice." Sayid was getting exasperated. "But I have a girlfriend waiting for me. She... really likes ponies." Maybe that would get them to cooperate?

"YOU ARE AMAZING," came Locke's voice. He walked to them, with arms outstretched, a beatific look on his face. "PLEASE. TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER."

"OK!" Rainbow Dash began to fly, further into the jungle. "Follow me!"

Locke ran, trying to catch up to the flying and prancing ponies. Kate and Jack followed. Jack couldn't believe he was doing this. Sawyer and Sayid reluctantly followed after them. "This is ridiculous," Sawyer snarled.

Sayid didn't even have words anymore. He suddenly felt very old, and very, very tired. Like a zombie.

They were now in the village that had been shown in the Dharma orientation video. There were ponies playing, walking around and talking. Ponies everywhere. A tiny, young yellow pony with a red mane and tail, and a red bow on her hair, approached, pulling a small cart filled with apples.

"Excuse me," she squeaked. "Would you like to buy some apples?"

"We... are kind of busy right now," Jack said.

"Hey Apple Bloom," Pinkie Pie said, "I bet your sister's looking for you."

A little orange pegasus that was near the yellow pony smiled at Rainbow Dash adoringly. Rainbow Dash turned a cartwheel in the air.

"Welcome to Ponyville," Rainbow Dash said, taking a bow for Kate, who was clapping. Jack shot her a dirty look, and Kate gave him a dirty look right back.

The orange pony whispered to the yellow pony. Sayid felt himself beginning to panic. The whispers! _We're going to be infected now._

"It was a mistake coming here," Sayid cried out, and pulled Kate's arm, running away. "We need to go back. Right now."

"I don't want to go," Kate said, yanking away from Sayid. "I want to stay a little while." She smiled at the ponies.

"Great! I have some places I can show you," Pinkie Pie said, heading in the direction of the Sugarcube Corner confectionary. "I hope you like cake!"

And then there was a yell. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLT! WAAAAAAAAAAALT!"

"Michael?" What was Michael doing here?

Michael looked at the other crash survivors in terror. "Has anybody seen my boy?"

"There was a boy here a little while ago," said the little orange pony. "He was looking for his dog."

"Great," Michael said, "did you see which way he went?"

"No."

Michael swore under his breath. "HELP ME FIND MY BOY," he barked at the crash survivors.

"We need to find some answers," Jack said.

"I need to find my destiny," Locke breathed.

"I need to have some cake," Kate squealed, skipping behind Pinkie Pie.

"Son of a bitch," Sawyer grumbled.

"You really like to say your name a lot, don't you?" Rainbow Dash teased Sawyer. "Is that all you can say?"

"SON OF A BITCH!"


End file.
